April 1, 2011
One of the things I’ve been praying for each day is patience. I lose my patience, with Lila especially, more often than I should. What usually makes me lose it is her not listening. Or more to the point, completely ignoring me. Nothing makes me madder faster than to be ignored....by anyone, not just her. One of the big problems lately is that she goes from fine to fit in .2 seconds. You try to talk to her, to calm her down, to reason with her, and she’s out of control before you can even blink an eye. The more I try to stay calm and talk to her the more upset I’m getting on the inside as she continues to ignore me. Yes, yes, I know. What I should do is walk away rather than trying to talk to her, but in my defense, many times I am able to calm her down if I get to her quickly enough and we avert the tantrum.Yesterday we had a battle-royal and I think God must have been holding my hand the entire time. Lila got to bed late on Wednesday night so I had to wake her up for school. She didn’t take a nap while she was there so from the minute I picked her up she was a ball of whining and crying. Over. Everything. She was so tired. I told her after she had her snack she needed to go lay down and rest. Oh holy cow. Not only did she want nothing to do with that idea, but she wanted to throw it out a window.
Let me back up and give some back story. Lila HATES and I mean REALLY HATES to have her bedroom door closed all the way. This all stemmed from a time when she was first became afraid of “monsters”. At the time we used to close her door and rest it against the door frame, but not close it shut. Well this all worked out fine until the air conditioner started creating a bit of vacuum upstairs and it would cause the door to shut all the way. In her little mind something invisible closing the door was too much to handle. What we have done since that time is to put the smallest edge of one of her throw pillows in the door every time she lays down to sleep. At this point it’s no longer about being scared, it’s about her wanting to be able to see out the door--and power of course, to control anything she can.
So back to yesterday. She screamed and cried and kicked about laying down. She pulled out every stop she could think of to keep me from leaving the room and when I did leave, she screamed louder and refused to lay down. I told her if she didn’t stop screaming and rest I was going to close the door all the way. She didn’t stop, so I closed the door. This didn’t deter her in the slightest as she just jumped out of bed to open the door. Little did she know I was on the other side of the door holding it shut. You can imagine the level of screaming that ensued. I told her when she stopped pitching a fit and got back in bed to rest I’d open the door again. We had to go through this exercise no less than 4 times. Each time I’d open the door she’d be sitting up in her bed and immediately start screaming....and I would shut the door, again, and repeat myself. This was all happening mind you, with Jett at the bottom of the stairs, looking up, with his shoes in his hands, and shouting “MOMMY”...[5 second pause]...”MOOOOOMMY, side [outside].....[3 second pause]....”MOMMYYYYYY, oohs [shoes], side” and me trying to tell him, I’d be right there. Finally after the 4th or 5th time of opening, closing, opening, closing the door, she laid down and must have fallen asleep almost instantly. I came down to help Jett, and couldn’t have been downstairs more than 2 minutes before going up to check on her again and she was out cold. At 5pm I had to go up and wake her and she was still soundly asleep.
The point of my story you ask? I kept my cool through the entire drama-filled thing. That is why I said God must have been holding my hand through it all. Today I didn’t do as well, but I’m trying, and praying, and I guess I’m a work in progress...
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